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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29398173">Name Me Infatuation</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/leet911/pseuds/leet911'>leet911</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Warrior Nun (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Fluff, Valentine's Day</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:27:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,127</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29398173</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/leet911/pseuds/leet911</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ava breaks all the rules, and Beatrice’s carefully constructed walls.  (A Warrior Nun Valentine's Day fic.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>158</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Name Me Infatuation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=bravelittlevoice">bravelittlevoice</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p> </p><p>Beatrice names her feelings infatuation.  It’s safer this way.  Because acknowledging the alternative is far scarier, and she can’t have that.</p><p>So on Valentine’s Day, Camila has chocolates for all the sister warriors, but Beatrice does not.  And that is exactly the same as every other year.  What’s different is Ava, because this is the first year that Ava is with them, and Ava also bought chocolates for everyone.  So they each get two packages, Camila’s little red box and Ava’s lone truffle, because when Ava asked for a chocolatier recommendation last week, Lilith sent her to the most expensive one in town.</p><p>The sisters laugh as they accept the gifts, express their gratitude.  Ava does not look at Beatrice as she drops off the chocolate, placing it in front of the nun and moving on to the next person.</p><p>“Thank you,” Beatrice calls, smiling at Ava’s back.</p><p>There’s no response.  Beatrice is hurt, but hides it behind her usual mask.  She doesn’t know why she expects special treatment.  Ava doesn’t owe her anything.</p><p>When she retreats to her room, the chocolates are already eaten and gone, the sweetness lingering in her mouth but not her mood.  She opens her door to another surprise though, an impressive display of roses filling her sparse room, flowers covering every surface and a fuzzy little teddy bear on her bed.  In its arms, is a heart-shaped card with her name on it.</p><p>She can’t help the trepidation that runs through her body.  The nuns would not do this.  They don’t even know.</p><p><em> What you are is beautiful. </em> Those are the only words inside the card.</p><p>There’s a knock at the door, and for a moment, Beatrice is panicked.</p><p>“It’s me, Ava.”</p><p>The panic does not subside, but now it’s for an entirely different reason.</p><p>She opens the door a crack, confirms that it’s only Ava in the hall, then pulls her in and closes the door again immediately.  She whispers, as if someone would be listening, though she can’t imagine who. “What did you do?”</p><p>Ava smiles, sheepish and nervous. “Is it too much?”</p><p>“Yes!”  Beatrice is whisper yelling.  They’ve never talked about this, about them, and these feelings that Beatrice has – these feelings that she wishes so much for Ava to have too but she doesn’t feel is fair to ask for.  “This is a house of God! How did you even get all of this in here?”</p><p>“Camila helped me.”</p><p>Beatrice is mortified.  She wants to hide her face, but she also wants to jump up and down, crush Ava against her.</p><p>“You deserve to be surrounded by beauty,” Ava continues, “you deserve happiness.”</p><p>But Ava deserves happiness too.  Ava is the most deserving.  Pure, perfect, messy Ava, with all her jokes and smiles and strength and courage and flowers and words.  And maybe this means that Ava does want this as much as Beatrice.  So Beatrice takes the leap, steps close, puts her hands on either side of Ava’s head as she presses their lips together.</p><p>There’s a gasp, and the sound of the Halo being activated.  Then Ava is gone, phased right out the room.  And Beatrice is left alone with the flowers and the bear.</p><p>Before she has time to understand what happened though, there’s a flash of light and Ava is back, phasing through the closed door once more and pushing Beatrice deeper into the room.  Ava is back with a vengeance, hands holding Beatrice’s face, mouth covering Beatrice’s, and there’s no pretense now.  Their tongues are touching, Beatrice is moaning, and her knees give out when they hit the edge of the bed.  Ava falls on top of her without releasing her lips.</p><p>When they finally separate their faces, they’re both breathing hard.  Ava is still leaning over Beatrice, one leg on each side of her, pinning her to the bed.  Beatrice tries to look away, but Ava keeps her hands on Beatrice’s head, holds her in place.</p><p>“Hey, look at me.  I want this.  I want you.”  Ava’s grip is not firm.  It’s gentle, questioning.  Her eyes are too, just a little bit watery, shaking with each ragged breath.</p><p>So Beatrice doesn’t look away, but closes her eyes instead, because she’s not as brave as Ava thinks.  That doesn’t help though, because in her mind she still sees the image of Ava overhead, lips swollen from their kissing.  She still has the taste of Ava on her own lips, mingling with the chocolate from before.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Beatrice whispers, unwilling to open her eyes.</p><p>“What for?”  Ava lays her head down on Beatrice’s shoulder, strokes her cheek and catches some dampness.</p><p>Beatrice looks up at the blank ceiling.  She feels the weight of Ava on her, but she can’t see her face.  Somehow, that makes it easier.  Safer.  “I didn’t get you anything.”   And she really does feel guilty, because Ava is the one who grew up in an orphanage, who hasn’t lived a proper Valentine’s Day, and Beatrice has nothing to show for it.  She feels so useless.</p><p>“You don’t need to get me anything.”</p><p>And she knows that Ava means that.  In the grand scheme of things, this one day is meaningless.  But Beatrice feels like she's failed. Like once again, she wasn't good enough.</p><p>"I'm a mess."  Beatrice doesn't say all the other things that are churning in her mind.  That she's thought about leaving the Cat’s Cradle, but she doesn’t know how. That she stays because Ava is here, and Ava has never mentioned leaving, and how can Beatrice possibly leave if Ava is staying.  She doesn't say that she hasn't figured out how to deal with these feelings and that this is an actual nunnery, so she doesn't have anywhere else to run to anymore.  Beatrice doesn’t feel strong at all.</p><p>But Ava does.  Ava moves so that their chins are touching, so she can look up at Beatrice, who is studiously avoiding her gaze.  And Ava doesn't ask for anything, doesn't expect anything.  Ava is conviction and faith and loyalty and trust.  She lays her head on Beatrice's shoulder.  "You're the strongest person I know."</p><p>Beatrice's eyes stay on the ceiling.  She breathes in the scent of flowers and basks in the comforting weight of Ava.  When Ava places a kiss on her neck, Beatrice can't help the shiver that runs through her body, can’t stop her arms from wrapping around Ava when the shiver also infects the other girl.  The Halo is warm on Ava’s back, even here and now, with no danger or demons or divinium nearby.  And there’s a part of Beatrice that’s afraid of what that means, because even though she names this infatuation, sometimes it feels an awful lot like love.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Shoutout to <i>bravelittlevoice</i> who originally posted the headcanon about Ava phasing away the first time Beatrice kisses her and then coming back to deliver her own kiss.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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